How in the world did Cinderella eat your daughter?

I must admit, I was a bit taken aback by the title of Peggy Orenstein's book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter. What in the world could that mean? However, right off the bat in chapter one, I understood what the title meant. Of course, no one actually ate anyone. But the pressure to raise the perfect girl began to figuratively “eat” at Orenstein even before her child was born.

On page 2, Orenstein writes, “I still fretted over how I would raise her, what kind of role model I would be, whether I would take my own smugly written advice on the complexities surrounding girls’ beauty, body image, education, achievement. Would I embrace frilly dresses or ban Barbies? Push soccer cleats or tutus?”

When I signed up for this class, I imagined that we would discuss the pressures of growing up as a woman today. In my perspective as a teenager, this meant doing well in school as well as being social, navigating the balance between being attractive but still being respected for intelligence.

I always assumed that these insecurities would disappear with age. If and when I find a husband, I won’t have to worry about what society thinks because I will have the love of my soul mate. Yet on page 2 of her novel, Orenstein shows that the pressures don’t stop once you grow up.

The pressure of how to raise her child haunts Orenstein. She worries about what society will think of her. Perhaps these fears originate in the "evil stepmother" culture also promoted by Disney. Whether this is what is in her subconscious or not, Orenstein fails to realize that this is fiction, and no matter how she chooses to raise her daughter, whether it be “soccer cleats or tutus,” her daughter will love her unconditionally.

You only get one chance to raise your child, which I’ll admit is intimidating. The positive side of that, however, is that your child will never know anything different. So if you aren’t the perfect parent, your child won’t know! I wish I could tell Orenstein this. How do you even judge a good parent anyway? All I know is that I love my parents more than anything in the world, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

So even though the first chapter is titled “Why I Hoped for a Boy,” I believe that it doesn’t matter what sex your child is. Your child is all your own, and they will love you no matter what. Building a relationship between parent and child can be terrifying, but at the end of the day love, respect, and compassion are all that matters, not what anyone else thinks.